How to get a state job...


I did, actually, get an interview once. I'm thinking, however, to changing my name to "Diego Verde". What do you think? What about "Diego Verde-Richardson"? I don't think they like it when you answer as "Euro-American" on the affirmative action form. Really, that is but just a comment on the lack of a PC term for White. I don't mind "Gringo" even if it is derogatory, or "Anglo" but don't try to tell me that "Caucasian" is it, because if it were, we'd still be calling "African-American's" "Negro". No, I say "Euro-American". That is what today's hyphenated society demands!

The form has check boxes for the following: "African-American", "Latin-American or Hispanic", "Asian-American", "Native-American or American-Eskimo", "Caucasian" or "Other". I always fill in other and write either "Euro-American" or "Anglo". Why? Because i hate the word "Caucasian". It's so... Steril, bland. Like a... aaa... Saltine. Yeah, "Cracker-American" I like that.

African-American: It doesn’t matter if they are of Caribbean ancestry. If they are Black, they are to be referred to as "African-American". It's what White America demands.

Hispanics are to be referred to as "Mexican-American". Sorry if you are from Chili, Argentina, or Spain, even! And if you're here illegally? No problem: "Illegal-Alien". (You can be from anywhere in the galaxy with that one. Think of the freedom!)

"Asian-American": Sorry, don't have a good one for that... Wait! What about Eskimo's??? (Is there "Eskimo-American"? Or do they get lumped in with the "Native-American" crowd?) No, now i remember... It's either "Native-Alaskan" or "Alaskan-Indian". Neither of which give a clue as to weather they are Inuit or Aleut, Athabaskin, or whatever. (Just checked with the Census Dept., it's "Alaskan-Native"). O-well, at least they get their hyphen.

Then there is "Native-American". Why, Hell! I was born in America! The United States, Even! Just like I was born in Texas. That makes me a "Native-Texan". Why not "Native-American" Too??? No, "Native-American" doesn’t cut it. If we really want to get into the origins, they must be referred to as their tribal affiliation. Lets try "Cherokee-American", “Chippewa-American”, or "Creek-American". Doesn’t really roll of the tongue, but lets try.

"Gringo-American" (You can even put "Pinchy" in front, if you want.)
"Anglo-American" (I'm at a loss, but I like it)
"Native-Texican" (Gets to the root)
"Cracker-American" (My personal favorite)
"Human-American" (The most genetically correct-hyphenated-with-citizenship. Hmmm)

Just don't call me "Caucasian-American" or we're going to fight.

I Say: "No-hyphen, no PEACE"!