Johnny, You Da Man!



Johnny Cash
I've Been Everywhere
Written by - Geoff Mack
From - Unchained

I was totin' my pack along the long dusty Winnamucka road
When along came a semi with a high canvas covered load
If your goin' to Winnamucka, Mack, with me you can ride
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand
And I said, 'Listen! I've traveled every road in this here land'

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel...I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere
I've been to
Reno
Chicago
Fargo
Minnesota
Buffalo
Toronto
Winslow
Sarasota
Wichita
Tulsa
Ottawa
Oklahoma
Tampa
Panama
Mattua
La Paloma
Bangor
Baltimore
Salvador
Amarillo
Tocapillo
Pocotello
Amperdello
I'm a killer

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel...I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere
I've been to:
Boston
Charleston
Dayton
Lousiana
Washington
Houston
Kingston
Texas County
Monterey
Fairaday
Santa Fe
Tollaperson
Glen Rock
Black Rock
Little Rock
Oskaloussa
Tennessee
Tinnesay
Chickapee
Spirit Lake
Grand Lake
Devil's Lake
Crater Lake
For Pete's sake

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel...I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere
I've been to
Louisville
Nashville
Knoxville
Omerback
Shereville
Jacksonville
Waterville
Costa Rock
Richfield
Springfield
Bakersfield
Shreveport
Hackensack
Cadallac
Fond du Lac
Davenport
Idaho
Jellico
Argentina
Diamondtina
Pasadena
Catalina
See what I mean

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel...I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere
I've been to
Pittsburgh
Parkersburg
Gravelburg
Colorado
Ellisburg
Rexburg
Vicksburg
El Dorado
Larimore
Adimore
Habastock
Chadanocka
Shasta
Nebraska
Alaska
Opalacka
Baraboo
Waterloo
Kalamazoo
Kansas City
Sioux City
Cedar City
Dodge City
What a pity

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel...I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

Intelligent Design?

I say: "Why you want to insult the designer??"

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Not Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy fucking Kwanza, or any of that other PC bullshit!

It's always been "Merry Christmas" and, as far as I'm concerned, it still is. Kwanza, Hanukkah, and everybody else’s false holiday icon is implied. It's understood to be implied, as it is inferred!

So, if some sales fuck says to me, "Happy Holidays!" during this festive time of year, I'll say, "FUCK YOU!" It's Fucking Christmas complete with fucking St. Nick, Rudolph, Frosty, that Fucking Grinch and all the rest of those American Made icons that I have loved since cognitive thought.

So, Take you're Kwanza, Hanukkah, and what the fuck ever else there is out there and keep it to your self. Feel free to celebrate those times with your families and friends, and in your own special way, but don't try to drown out my holiday spirit with your second rate attemps to be a joiner because your holiday equivilant sucks.

Holiday Tree? What the fuck is that??? I'll call a Christmas Tree a Holiday Tree on the same day I can call a Minora a "Holiday Candle Thing".

Christmas is an American holiday and to suggest otherwise, well, that's just un-American.


I say: "Merry Christmas, Fuckers!"

Hang on, I think the thought police are kicking in my door…

African-American Cultural Influence In 21st Century North America

Or: Drive-By Porn

There is a new trend in town. And it’s popular with primarily male African-American and Hispanic-American youths.

I'm driving along in my hybrid-bio-mobile with my 11 year old daughter, on our way to Bible study and listening to nice Christian melody when I notice a black Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows carrying a full accoutrement of urban African-American youths accompanied by the deafening sounds of some pfat beats pass on the left.

That is not what I would consider to be a problem. I even kinda like the 24" chrome spinners. What bothers me is what was playing on their DVD player on multiple screens. "Barely Legal Anal Gang-Bang First Timers, Vol. 7". I wouldn't have known which volume, except that the title proudly displayed in the rear big-screen monitor. The only purpose for this monitor is so that the people driving behind them can watch too. Nice thought, thank you, but my daughter and I are not interested in watching this film while driving down the I-25. There is a time and a place for everything. Driving down the interstate is not the place for "Gonzo Porn". While I can appreciate the fine art of ass-stretching and the wide open gape of 19 to 20 year old girls, viewing it while driving down the freeway seems somewhat out of place, don't you think?

There are laws on the books restricting the way we use cell phones while driving, there are seatbelt laws, and there are public nudity laws and "exposure" laws. BUT, are there any laws regarding the viewing of adult oriented material in public? Or on the roadway? In plane view? Maybe I'll just whip my dick out and spank it to "Hustler" next time I'm hanging out at Chicago, O'Hare. Oh, wait. That's probably against the law. AND, I’m White.

I say: Pull these perverts over, take them to jail, book them on a sex crime, and let them get in on the registry. Then, maybe, next time I’m on my way to Bible study with my daughter, we can watch someone else’s DVD of “Snow White” while headed down the interstate.

How to get a state job...


I did, actually, get an interview once. I'm thinking, however, to changing my name to "Diego Verde". What do you think? What about "Diego Verde-Richardson"? I don't think they like it when you answer as "Euro-American" on the affirmative action form. Really, that is but just a comment on the lack of a PC term for White. I don't mind "Gringo" even if it is derogatory, or "Anglo" but don't try to tell me that "Caucasian" is it, because if it were, we'd still be calling "African-American's" "Negro". No, I say "Euro-American". That is what today's hyphenated society demands!

The form has check boxes for the following: "African-American", "Latin-American or Hispanic", "Asian-American", "Native-American or American-Eskimo", "Caucasian" or "Other". I always fill in other and write either "Euro-American" or "Anglo". Why? Because i hate the word "Caucasian". It's so... Steril, bland. Like a... aaa... Saltine. Yeah, "Cracker-American" I like that.

African-American: It doesn’t matter if they are of Caribbean ancestry. If they are Black, they are to be referred to as "African-American". It's what White America demands.

Hispanics are to be referred to as "Mexican-American". Sorry if you are from Chili, Argentina, or Spain, even! And if you're here illegally? No problem: "Illegal-Alien". (You can be from anywhere in the galaxy with that one. Think of the freedom!)

"Asian-American": Sorry, don't have a good one for that... Wait! What about Eskimo's??? (Is there "Eskimo-American"? Or do they get lumped in with the "Native-American" crowd?) No, now i remember... It's either "Native-Alaskan" or "Alaskan-Indian". Neither of which give a clue as to weather they are Inuit or Aleut, Athabaskin, or whatever. (Just checked with the Census Dept., it's "Alaskan-Native"). O-well, at least they get their hyphen.

Then there is "Native-American". Why, Hell! I was born in America! The United States, Even! Just like I was born in Texas. That makes me a "Native-Texan". Why not "Native-American" Too??? No, "Native-American" doesn’t cut it. If we really want to get into the origins, they must be referred to as their tribal affiliation. Lets try "Cherokee-American", “Chippewa-American”, or "Creek-American". Doesn’t really roll of the tongue, but lets try.

"Gringo-American" (You can even put "Pinchy" in front, if you want.)
"Anglo-American" (I'm at a loss, but I like it)
"Native-Texican" (Gets to the root)
"Cracker-American" (My personal favorite)
"Human-American" (The most genetically correct-hyphenated-with-citizenship. Hmmm)

Just don't call me "Caucasian-American" or we're going to fight.

I Say: "No-hyphen, no PEACE"!

More Later.